I learn by watching people. I love to look at godly Christian women and marvel at what God has done in their lives. If you asked me directly I could give you the names of a dozen people I look up to and the qualities that I admire in them.
But watching them has often led me to realize that… I’m not there yet.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “comparing your outtakes with their highlight real.” This basically means that I see all of my mess… but I don’t see much of other people’s.
I mentioned last week that I have wrestled with understanding my worthiness in Christ. I have been learning that even as I sit in the middle of my brokenness, God loves me.
But a few weeks ago, I learned something else.
I was in the middle of a lousy week. I had been struggling internally, striving after that illusive perfection. I felt a bit like my life was on hold– once I worked through my big list of things that were wrong with me, then my life would begin to have meaning and purpose.
And then I read, actually, a comment on this blog from a man at my church, quoting this verse relating to me:
“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'”John 7:38
Honestly, I started to cry. All I had thought of were my failures over the past week: my worries, my selfishness, my missed Bible readings, my efforts to be perfect… But what was the truth?
God was using me.
I had bought into the lie that tries to piggyback on the one I mentioned last week. This lie says, “Well, you know that God loves you even when you don’t deserve it… But He only works through people who are perfect.”
And at that moment, I saw it– I was a messy person, and not only did God love me in the midst of that… He was using me.
I realized something important: Maturity doesn’t mean that God perfects us so that we need Him less– He simply helps us to rely on Him more.
Those “spiritual giants” that I look up to so much? They are just as messed up as I am. The difference? They have learned how to trust God, how to draw strength from Him, how to let Him transform their lives. They understand a little more the reality of His love for them…
…and it is the overflow of that love that manifests itself as rivers of living water.
God isn’t interested in working through “strong,” “perfect” people. He takes our weaknesses and uses to them to showcase His strength.
It is not just in spite of my weakness but through it that God glorifies Himself.
And sometimes a messy week means drawing closer to God. Sometimes personal failures bring you back to the foot of the cross. Sometimes imperfections point you to the perfect Savior who died for you.
God is in the business of redemption. He doesn’t need you to be perfect to do great things in your life.
The implications for me? Stop wasting time waiting to be perfect, and just rest in God’s sovereignty over my life. Trust that He loves me, He is using me, and… I can rest securely in those truths.
P.S. If this or any of my other posts have encouraged you, I would love it if you would share this with a friend!